










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 729 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 307 | 42% |
| Smokes | 263 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 48 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $217,279 of utility $167 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 404 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bob | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | Arnold Schwarzenegger | 28% | 18 |
| #3 | Known Racist | 27% | 22 |
| #4 | DAUNORS | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Byza_ | 15% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Arnold Schwarzenegger | 28% | 18 |
| #3 | Known Racist | 27% | 22 |
| #4 | DAUNORS | 21% | 14 |
| #5 | Byza_ | 15% | 20 |
| #6 | xyzumian | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Known Racist | 14 | 0.0428 |
| #2 | Arnold Schwarzenegger | 5 | 0.0162 |
| #3 | Byza_ | 3 | 0.0073 |
| #4 | DAUNORS | 3 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | bob | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arnold Schwarzenegger | 32 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | Byza_ | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | DAUNORS | 29 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| #4 | Known Racist | 25 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | xyzumian | 15 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DAUNORS | +3.76 | 79 | 57 |
| #2 | bob | +3.41 | 37 | 31 |
| #3 | Arnold Schwarzenegger | +0.57 | 73 | 29 |
| #4 | xyzumian | -0.77 | 43 | 19 |
| #5 | Known Racist | -2.19 | 13 | 44 |





