










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 290 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 73 | 25% |
| Smokes | 79 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 57 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,400 of utility $245 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 33 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nerd | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Great | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | jpgelixir | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | CruZan | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nerd | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | Great | 44% | 16 |
| #3 | jpgelixir | 42% | 12 |
| #4 | CruZan | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpgelixir | 2 | 0.0098 |
| #2 | Great | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | CruZan | 1 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jpgelixir | 34 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | Great | 17 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | nerd | 13 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | CruZan | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | v1sion | +0.79 | 48 | 21 |
| #2 | Great | -1.25 | 23 | 55 |
| #3 | jpgelixir | -2.63 | 21 | 57 |
| #4 | nerd | -2.99 | 36 | 68 |
| #5 | CruZan | -3.54 | 12 | 47 |





