










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 870 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1434 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,640 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1070 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1755 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 768 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1047 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $369,679 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 706 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Ananass | 39% | 116 |
| #8 | Väike kodanik | 38% | 21 |
| #9 | Trinize | 29% | 14 |
| #10 | Vello Six Seven | 21% | 19 |
| #11 | Bifkin | 13% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naffi | 16 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | Väike kodanik | 5 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Kristjance | 4 | 0.0270 |
| #4 | Ananass | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | MrNobody | 2 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naffi | 217 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Väike kodanik | 42 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | MrNobody | 27 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bifkin | 25 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #5 | Trinize | 20 | 0.07 | 0 min |





