








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 253 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,155 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 108 | 9% |
| Smokes | 711 | 62% |
| HE Grenades | 120 | 10% |
| Molotovs | 216 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $914,614 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung shoelace | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | MrLost360 | 51% | 245 |
| #3 | ThiccBiscuit | 51% | 72 |
| #4 | sheltered88 | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | DeadeyeCloud | 41% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MrLost360 | 51% | 245 |
| #3 | ThiccBiscuit | 51% | 72 |
| #4 | sheltered88 | 50% | 176 |
| #5 | DeadeyeCloud | 41% | 82 |
| #6 | Schmeat Davidson | 41% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrLost360 | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | ThiccBiscuit | 14 | 0.0097 |
| #3 | Schmeat Davidson | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | DeadeyeCloud | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | sheltered88 | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MrLost360 | 398 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | Schmeat Davidson | 196 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | DeadeyeCloud | 123 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | ThiccBiscuit | 50 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | sheltered88 | 31 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schmeat Davidson | +1.48 | 33 | 62 |
| #2 | MrLost360 | +1.36 | 46 | 42 |
| #3 | sheltered88 | -0.12 | 25 | 28 |
| #4 | Cloud7570 | -0.95 | 33 | 11 |
| #5 | DeadeyeCloud | -1.27 | 26 | 47 |





