








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
34 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 332 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 38% |
| Smokes | 84 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 61 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 61 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,600 of utility $22 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gigachad | 22% | 9 |
| #2 | Subunuokut | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | 変態先輩 | 0% | 6 |
| #4 | Nightwish | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gigachad | 22% | 9 |
| #2 | Subunuokut | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | 変態先輩 | 0% | 6 |
| #4 | Nightwish | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gigachad | 35 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | 変態先輩 | 17 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #3 | Subunuokut | 7 | 0.17 | 0 min |
| #4 | Nightwish | 3 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nightwish | +5.69 | 75 | 11 |
| #2 | gigachad | +1.44 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Subunuokut | +0.81 | 52 | 68 |
| #4 | 変態先輩 | -3.33 | 12 | 55 |
| #5 | xtoo | -4.34 | 39 | 52 |





