








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1067 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 509 matches | ||
| Wingman | 245 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6703 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,763 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11222 | 34% |
| Smokes | 7874 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6636 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 7031 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,976 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1644 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizz Dizzler | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizz Dizzler | 41% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizz Dizzler | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jizz Dizzler | 34 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ITS THE MÄNTTI | +1.12 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | Jizz Dizzler | -3.41 | 30 | 30 |





