








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 853 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 206 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3654 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,905 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 961 | 11% |
| Smokes | 2530 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2934 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2480 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,232,999 of utility $292 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 211 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenGu!n|me! | 48% | 121 |
| #2 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | 44% | 102 |
| #3 | Frechdax | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Bart | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenGu!n|me! | 48% | 121 |
| #2 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | 44% | 102 |
| #3 | Frechdax | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Bart | 39% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenGu!n|me! | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Frechdax | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Bart | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenGu!n|me! | 185 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #2 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | 70 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #3 | Frechdax | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bart | 26 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PenGu!n|me! | +2.65 | 55 | 78 |
| #2 | 「 SneaXツ」 | +0.33 | 61 | 56 |
| #3 | Frechdax | -2.54 | 61 | 43 |
| #4 | PenGu!n|Bilt!s | -2.90 | 24 | 59 |
| #5 | Bart | -3.23 | 28 | 55 |





