








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 472 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5175 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,294 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7399 | 43% |
| Smokes | 3020 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3509 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3366 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,211 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal5227 | 50% | 248 |
| #2 | Buckie | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | scootn | 48% | 368 |
| #4 | njp124 | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Crystal5227 | 50% | 248 |
| #2 | Buckie | 49% | 41 |
| #3 | scootn | 48% | 368 |
| #4 | njp124 | 47% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scootn | 48 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Crystal5227 | 34 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | njp124 | 31 | 0.0106 |
| #4 | Buckie | 10 | 0.0117 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | scootn | 2011 | 0.26 | 39 min |
| #2 | njp124 | 731 | 0.25 | 17 min |
| #3 | Crystal5227 | 326 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #4 | Buckie | 16 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Elements | +1.72 | 72 | 54 |
| #2 | scootn | +0.55 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | Crystal5227 | -1.44 | 54 | 25 |
| #4 | Buckie | -1.88 | 44 | 13 |
| #5 | njp124 | -2.29 | 50 | 58 |





