








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 827 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 250 | 30% |
| Smokes | 257 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 75 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 245 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $119,234 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matthijs | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | smiguel | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Zwagaboy | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | DICEVED | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Folkertk2003 | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Matthijs | 56% | 9 |
| #2 | smiguel | 47% | 34 |
| #3 | Zwagaboy | 46% | 24 |
| #4 | DICEVED | 45% | 22 |
| #5 | Folkertk2003 | 40% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smiguel | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Folkertk2003 | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | DICEVED | 3 | 0.0069 |
| #4 | Zwagaboy | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DICEVED | 55 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Zwagaboy | 39 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #3 | Folkertk2003 | 35 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | smiguel | 27 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | Matthijs | 8 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DICEVED | +5.59 | 80 | 64 |
| #2 | smiguel | +3.09 | 62 | 35 |
| #3 | Zwagaboy | +1.48 | 74 | 55 |
| #4 | Matthijs | +0.64 | 46 | 31 |
| #5 | Folkertk2003 | -2.47 | 45 | 26 |





