








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 293 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3959 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,313 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2342 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2477 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1497 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1997 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $482,739 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EC5TA5Y | 48% | 25 |
| #2 | 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | Aʟᴘʜᴀ | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Jon Snow | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Eight | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EC5TA5Y | 48% | 25 |
| #2 | 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 | 48% | 67 |
| #3 | Aʟᴘʜᴀ | 47% | 34 |
| #4 | Jon Snow | 44% | 34 |
| #5 | Eight | 43% | 82 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eight | 13 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Jon Snow | 3 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | EC5TA5Y | 2 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Aʟᴘʜᴀ | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 | 125 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #2 | Aʟᴘʜᴀ | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #3 | EC5TA5Y | 57 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Eight | 53 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jon Snow | 46 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | EC5TA5Y | +0.92 | 52 | 54 |
| #2 | Eight | +0.80 | 71 | 21 |
| #3 | Fafnir | +0.22 | 37 | 35 |
| #4 | 𝗠𝗢𝗡𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥 | -0.78 | 51 | 62 |
| #5 | Jon Snow | -1.94 | 18 | 50 |





