








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,201 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2896 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4997 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7696 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 4612 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $635,360 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1431 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Galileo Glockilei | 43 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Steven Deagal | 15 | 0.0079 |
| #3 | Drew | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | yomer890890 | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Gutter Bags Bottom Sags | 4 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drew | 440 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #2 | yomer890890 | 319 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | Galileo Glockilei | 286 | 0.03 | 8 min |
| #4 | Steven Deagal | 155 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Trooper | 154 | 0.10 | 5 min |





