










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 284 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2906 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,214 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7360 | 52% |
| Smokes | 3924 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2037 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,087,813 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albedo | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Joyrope | 40% | 30 |
| #4 | <-$kYn3T-> | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albedo | 53% | 60 |
| #2 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | 45% | 31 |
| #3 | Joyrope | 40% | 30 |
| #4 | <-$kYn3T-> | 36% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | 5 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | Albedo | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | <-$kYn3T-> | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Joyrope | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | <-$kYn3T-> | 361 | 0.38 | 10 min |
| #2 | Joyrope | 136 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | 93 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Albedo | 43 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Albedo | +5.08 | 41 | 29 |
| #2 | <-$kYn3T-> | -1.04 | 5 | 83 |
| #3 | Chispitas ❤ | -1.95 | 10 | 65 |
| #4 | Joyrope | -2.25 | 3 | 57 |
| #5 | ¡¡JESPER**⛟ | -6.66 | 4 | 50 |





