








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 79 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,633 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2321 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1497 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 3594 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2221 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,100 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiiyara‿♡ | 63% | 19 |
| #2 | b0tha | 61% | 38 |
| #3 | Tragedy | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | RAWKUS MONKEY | 53% | 47 |
| #5 | Abs0luTioN | 53% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChainsawKitty | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | ***SnoobaB*** | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | RAWKUS MONKEY | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Abs0luTioN | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Tragedy | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ***SnoobaB*** | 343 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #2 | b0tha | 227 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| #3 | Abs0luTioN | 163 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #4 | ChainsawKitty | 154 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Mr Cortex [_ -_- _] | 113 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | b0tha | +4.54 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | kiiyara‿♡ | +3.89 | 66 | 76 |
| #3 | RAGSmokeyBinkie | +1.50 | 56 | 66 |
| #4 | Abs0luTioN | +1.49 | 75 | 71 |
| #5 | RAWKUS MONKEY | +0.53 | 28 | 54 |





