








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 56 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2086 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4788 | 38% |
| Smokes | 3699 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3018 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,829 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doe Doe | 55% | 82 |
| #2 | Coach Kernith | 48% | 202 |
| #3 | Biggie | 47% | 247 |
| #4 | FiiGGz | 45% | 114 |
| #5 | Pangsta | 45% | 148 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Biggie | 184 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #2 | FiiGGz | 176 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | Pangsta | 151 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Doe Doe | 107 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Coach Kernith | 27 | 0.01 | 1 min |





