








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 555 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,044 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1616 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1122 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2141 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1165 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,067,651 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrnknSqurrl | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | stelio | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrnknSqurrl | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | stelio | 59% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DrnknSqurrl | 1 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | stelio | 1 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stelio | 38 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #2 | DrnknSqurrl | 37 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | stelio | +5.11 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | DrnknSqurrl | -0.89 | 33 | 48 |
| #3 | TEGRIDY | -1.61 | 36 | 54 |





