








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,892 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 291 | 15% |
| Smokes | 35 | 2% |
| HE Grenades | 1153 | 61% |
| Molotovs | 413 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $430,543 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | team bait | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | 235 | 51% | 70 |
| #3 | Xx_A1phaW0lf_xX | 50% | 103 |
| #4 | Xx_SIGMA_WOLF_xX banditcamp.com | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Matty | 48% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Xx_A1phaW0lf_xX | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Matty | 7 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | 235 | 5 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Xx_SIGMA_WOLF_xX banditcamp.com | 5 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 235 | 295 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Xx_A1phaW0lf_xX | 270 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | Xx_SIGMA_WOLF_xX banditcamp.com | 196 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Matty | 169 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | team bait | 52 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 235 | +2.55 | 61 | 64 |
| #2 | Xx_A1phaW0lf_xX | +0.61 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | Xx_SIGMA_WOLF_xX banditcamp.com | +0.53 | 66 | 53 |
| #4 | TmHr Juice | +0.31 | 64 | 25 |
| #5 | team bait | -0.81 | 48 | 59 |





