








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 104 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 918 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 182 | 20% |
| Smokes | 290 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 257 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 189 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,977 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 631 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wisey | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | un_safe_haven | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | TrenbologneAcetate | 38% | 90 |
| #4 | sith stalker | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Biohazardx626 | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wisey | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | un_safe_haven | 45% | 38 |
| #3 | TrenbologneAcetate | 38% | 90 |
| #4 | sith stalker | 38% | 24 |
| #5 | Biohazardx626 | 33% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wisey | 3 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | TrenbologneAcetate | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Biohazardx626 | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | un_safe_haven | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | sith stalker | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrenbologneAcetate | 217 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | un_safe_haven | 109 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Biohazardx626 | 96 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | Wisey | 26 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | sith stalker | 8 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | un_safe_haven | +4.38 | 58 | 44 |
| #2 | TrenbologneAcetate | +4.35 | 41 | 60 |
| #3 | Biohazardx626 | +3.51 | 26 | 57 |
| #4 | Wisey | +2.15 | 64 | 49 |
| #5 | sith stalker | -5.69 | 15 | 20 |





