








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 399 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3643 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,986 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 310 | 8% |
| Smokes | 965 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 940 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1771 | 44% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,275,995 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 951 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pato | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | Argyle From Barbados | 56% | 50 |
| #3 | Mr. Luber | 54% | 83 |
| #4 | fucking piss chugger | 52% | 42 |
| #5 | Sand Moulinyan | 49% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BOT | 439 | 0.07 | 10 min |
| #2 | yalK | 395 | 0.13 | 9 min |
| #3 | fucking piss chugger | 118 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | christopha | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Argyle From Barbados | 63 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pato | +4.48 | 75 | 54 |
| #2 | Argyle From Barbados | +2.52 | 75 | 59 |
| #3 | fucking piss chugger | +1.17 | 75 | 27 |
| #4 | Abusive Father | +0.99 | 56 | 44 |
| #5 | xannybar | +0.69 | 83 | 14 |





