








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1186 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 52 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4085 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2338 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4208 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3513 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1786 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,010,816 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 275 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cruzi | 145 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #2 | Kaszi | 93 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | eVERTSON⇄ Trading | 86 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #4 | Diidfoksz | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | ABØS | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |





