








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 237 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 407 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3054 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,099 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1677 | 14% |
| Smokes | 4131 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 3166 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3125 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,164,619 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 144 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no halo chcesz cos z ejwonu?🖲 | 48% | 61 |
| #2 | 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖏𝖉𝖔𝖓 | 45% | 348 |
| #3 | Mylimysz | 44% | 329 |
| #4 | Grzybobrody | 43% | 221 |
| #5 | carry·4·like·a·horse | 42% | 354 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖏𝖉𝖔𝖓 | 45% | 348 |
| #3 | Mylimysz | 44% | 329 |
| #4 | Grzybobrody | 43% | 221 |
| #5 | carry·4·like·a·horse | 42% | 354 |
| #6 | david | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carry·4·like·a·horse | 45 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Mylimysz | 40 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖏𝖉𝖔𝖓 | 21 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Grzybobrody | 12 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | no halo chcesz cos z ejwonu?🖲 | 8 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carry·4·like·a·horse | 1364 | 0.18 | 42 min |
| #2 | 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖊𝖏𝖉𝖔𝖓 | 517 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Grzybobrody | 338 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | Mylimysz | 266 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | no halo chcesz cos z ejwonu?🖲 | 148 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | carry·4·like·a·horse | +5.93 | 84 | 80 |
| #2 | no halo chcesz cos z ejwonu?🖲 | +2.40 | 61 | 59 |
| #3 | david | -0.51 | 60 | 57 |
| #4 | Mylimysz | -0.85 | 65 | 40 |
| #5 | Grzybobrody | -1.61 | 46 | 48 |





