










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 1602 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




78 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13993 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 67,890 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 23891 | 35% |
| Smokes | 16278 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 22361 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 5360 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,320,401 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 743 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | ducky | 63% | 93 |
| #12 | Henico | 59% | 198 |
| #13 | alex | 57% | 195 |
| #14 | Doggo | 57% | 120 |
| #15 | Tricky | 55% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABA | 115 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | ducky | 21 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Noname | 18 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | hampo | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | ✪ Atmosphere | 13 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BABA | 4108 | 0.22 | 99 min |
| #2 | Atmo | 1485 | 0.22 | 48 min |
| #3 | Br0Es | 859 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| #4 | alex | 832 | 0.20 | 26 min |
| #5 | Noname | 827 | 0.20 | 20 min |





