








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 31 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 115 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1245 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,875 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1689 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2048 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1585 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1553 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $440,473 of utility $104 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ventiii.abi | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | SCOTTIE | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | Miiep | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Tekktiker | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | f1 | 55% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | f1 | 55% | 20 |
| #6 | π’π π¬π«πΆπͺ0π²π° | 55% | 174 |
| #7 | lauriᦠ| 55% | 11 |
| #8 | MoΒ² Sensei | 53% | 166 |
| #9 | Stressika | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π’π π¬π«πΆπͺ0π²π° | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | MoΒ² Sensei | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | Tekktiker | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Stressika | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | π’π π¬π«πΆπͺ0π²π° | 389 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #2 | MoΒ² Sensei | 257 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Tekktiker | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | f1 | 38 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | ventiii.abi | 25 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ventiii.abi | +6.58 | 88 | 65 |
| #2 | lauriᦠ| +2.74 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | MoΒ² Sensei | +1.53 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | AP | +0.14 | 68 | 65 |
| #5 | π’π π¬π«πΆπͺ0π²π° | -0.25 | 44 | 64 |





