








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,857 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 871 | 47% |
| Smokes | 299 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 66 | 4% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $248,754 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blesk.houfek | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Karel z Mostu | 60% | 67 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ Dormm☆™ | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | MAX_CZ3_ | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | Jaxk651 | 43% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Karel z Mostu | 60% | 67 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ Dormm☆™ | 54% | 108 |
| #4 | MAX_CZ3_ | 48% | 67 |
| #5 | Jaxk651 | 43% | 75 |
| #6 | <NIKO> | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ Dormm☆™ | 13 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Karel z Mostu | 11 | 0.0103 |
| #3 | Jaxk651 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | MAX_CZ3_ | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | blesk.houfek | 1 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ Dormm☆™ | 217 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | MAX_CZ3_ | 156 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Jaxk651 | 77 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | Karel z Mostu | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | <NIKO> | 33 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ Dormm☆™ | +8.00 | 78 | 41 |
| #2 | Karel z Mostu | +1.71 | 55 | 49 |
| #3 | ⭕⃤ ᠌SlowPeekツ | -0.55 | 44 | 47 |
| #4 | Jaxk651 | -0.83 | 50 | 47 |
| #5 | <NIKO> | -3.34 | 24 | 47 |





