








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 109 matches | ||
| Wingman | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




17 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2894 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,547 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2793 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3283 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3032 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2439 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $840,629 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMan | 57% | 152 |
| #2 | Don Striker | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | enes | 54% | 272 |
| #4 | Bl4ckEy3 | 53% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NoMan | 57% | 152 |
| #2 | Don Striker | 56% | 48 |
| #3 | enes | 54% | 272 |
| #4 | Bl4ckEy3 | 53% | 120 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enes | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Bl4ckEy3 | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | NoMan | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Don Striker | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enes | 625 | 0.12 | 18 min |
| #2 | Bl4ckEy3 | 236 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | NoMan | 146 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | Don Striker | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | enes | +3.59 | 91 | 63 |
| #2 | Striker | +0.33 | 69 | 57 |
| #3 | Don Striker | +0.09 | 73 | 42 |
| #4 | NoMan | -1.15 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Bl4ckEy3 | -1.76 | 59 | 59 |





