








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
675 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,246 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 95 | 8% |
| Smokes | 342 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 335 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 474 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $73,185 of utility $52 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SemeH | 51 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #2 | Flosh | 46 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | Mr.Moe | 30 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Thor | 28 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Drödley | 26 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flosh | +1.34 | 55 | 64 |
| #2 | SemeH | +0.84 | 71 | 40 |
| #3 | Veteran✠Höckendorff | +0.58 | 77 | 26 |
| #4 | Thor | -0.78 | 63 | 56 |
| #5 | Drödley | -0.85 | 71 | 44 |





