








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1530 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 19 | 2% |
| Smokes | 258 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 339 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,739 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se1ken | 56% | 200 |
| #2 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | KJ Surviving BOSS | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Suguhaluvr | 47% | 78 |
| #5 | freshie | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se1ken | 56% | 200 |
| #2 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 55% | 42 |
| #3 | KJ Surviving BOSS | 53% | 168 |
| #4 | Suguhaluvr | 47% | 78 |
| #5 | freshie | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KJ Surviving BOSS | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | se1ken | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Suguhaluvr | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | freshie | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KJ Surviving BOSS | 378 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Suguhaluvr | 341 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | se1ken | 298 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | freshie | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | se1ken | +5.95 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | CEMEN_BAKIN | +5.11 | 73 | 44 |
| #3 | freshie | -0.79 | 51 | 22 |
| #4 | KJ Surviving BOSS | -1.75 | 50 | 44 |
| #5 | Chief Keef | -1.90 | 50 | 6 |





