








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 97 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 68 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2500 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,530 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 932 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1244 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 908 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1446 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $622,034 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 134 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Ruoh0_ | 53% | 113 |
| #4 | -Aleksi- | 53% | 70 |
| #5 | viltsu | 50% | 86 |
| #6 | noimanW | 49% | 187 |
| #7 | Karpoo | 46% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viltsu | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | noimanW | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Ruoh0_ | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | -Aleksi- | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Karpoo | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | viltsu | 400 | 0.22 | 12 min |
| #2 | noimanW | 334 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | Ruoh0_ | 217 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Karpoo | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | HarambeGorilla | 43 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Unreal || Jolle | +1.35 | 74 | 48 |
| #2 | noimanW | +0.43 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | viltsu | +0.14 | 64 | 70 |
| #4 | Karpoo | -0.11 | 56 | 69 |
| #5 | Ruoh0_ | -0.44 | 64 | 67 |





