








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 96 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 43% |
| Smokes | 686 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 505 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 266 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $135,427 of utility $54 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 『 friendly 』 | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Phalo | 62 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Comrade_Pun | 42 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Nigga in a Buick | 24 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #5 | dodi5669 | 16 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nigga in a Buick | +6.43 | 60 | 45 |
| #2 | 『 friendly 』 | +2.52 | 44 | 39 |
| #3 | Pedro | +1.01 | 68 | 45 |
| #4 | Phalo | +0.20 | 38 | 32 |
| #5 | dodi5669 | -1.87 | 27 | 19 |





