








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 232 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
524 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,862 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1712 | 44% |
| Smokes | 434 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 908 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,594 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 409 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M. René Lévesque | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | Éric Lapointe | 37% | 35 |
| #3 | Fire Banana | 36% | 64 |
| #4 | Shrode | 34% | 64 |
| #5 | Jacques Parizeau | 19% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M. René Lévesque | 45% | 20 |
| #2 | Éric Lapointe | 37% | 35 |
| #3 | Fire Banana | 36% | 64 |
| #4 | Shrode | 34% | 64 |
| #5 | Jacques Parizeau | 19% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrode | 25 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | Fire Banana | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | Jacques Parizeau | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | M. René Lévesque | 2 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | Éric Lapointe | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrode | 308 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #2 | Éric Lapointe | 161 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Fire Banana | 94 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | M. René Lévesque | 43 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Jacques Parizeau | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M. René Lévesque | +5.48 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Fire Banana | +3.52 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | Éric Lapointe | +2.96 | 69 | 59 |
| #4 | Shrode | +2.58 | 78 | 51 |
| #5 | Jacques Parizeau | +2.32 | 67 | 48 |





