








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1907 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 656 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




97 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10433 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,690 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2003 | 43% |
| Smokes | 800 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 828 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1059 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,096,464 of utility $40 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 751 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zetonig | 61% | 203 |
| #2 | Dari_Shepski | 51% | 194 |
| #3 | Frostiyph | 50% | 168 |
| #4 | Enginee®.G ⌐ | 50% | 125 |
| #5 | Blackyyy | 49% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blackyyy | 30 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | ₱Ʉ₴₴Ɏ₴Ⱡ₳ɎɆⱤ | 30 | 0.0080 |
| #3 | Zetonig | 27 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Dari_Shepski | 23 | 0.0057 |
| #5 | ❤LuXi❤ | 14 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SunsetT_V/Sunny | 317 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Dari_Shepski | 284 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #3 | ₱Ʉ₴₴Ɏ₴Ⱡ₳ɎɆⱤ | 218 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | Enginee®.G ⌐ | 214 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Zetonig | 199 | 0.05 | 3 min |





