








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1144 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,055 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 591 | 29% |
| Smokes | 323 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 387 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 754 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $832,896 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 168 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ◆LuCkY◆ | 46% | 70 |
| #9 | KATA HUA TATTA | 38% | 13 |
| #10 | ✪ Cammy | 34% | 32 |
| #11 | LuCkY v 2.0 | 32% | 25 |
| #12 | lexyy | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ◆LuCkY◆ | 202 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #2 | ✪ Cammy | 74 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✪ Mr. TN ✪ | 73 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | LuCkY v 2.0 | 73 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | ✪ X-Treme 2.0 | 44 | 0.17 | 1 min |





