








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 270 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,135 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2874 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2333 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1765 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2163 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $895,632 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 49 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKAFANBOY | 45% | 154 |
| #2 | Lolicon | 42% | 48 |
| #3 | :> | 39% | 116 |
| #4 | C1NNAMON | 24% | 58 |
| #5 | ✿ Chim Sẻ Đi Tour | 24% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKAFANBOY | 45% | 154 |
| #2 | Lolicon | 42% | 48 |
| #3 | :> | 39% | 116 |
| #4 | C1NNAMON | 24% | 58 |
| #5 | ✿ Chim Sẻ Đi Tour | 24% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKAFANBOY | 13 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | C1NNAMON | 12 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | :> | 11 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | ✿ Chim Sẻ Đi Tour | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Lolicon | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MOKAFANBOY | 558 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | :> | 309 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | C1NNAMON | 179 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✿ Chim Sẻ Đi Tour | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Lolicon | 35 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C1NNAMON | +1.46 | 62 | 52 |
| #2 | :> | +0.75 | 57 | 42 |
| #3 | MOKAFANBOY | -0.27 | 18 | 55 |
| #4 | Lolicon | -0.51 | 46 | 28 |
| #5 | 404 Not Found | -1.11 | 30 | 53 |





