








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
945 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,306 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 446 | 19% |
| Smokes | 604 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 740 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 516 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $240,174 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | z1nxxx | 50% | 8 |
| #12 | MuteD | 50% | 16 |
| #13 | pIk[A]cHu | 44% | 9 |
| #14 | Zkrox | 44% | 9 |
| #15 | illuminati | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☆ẞr0sk3y☆ #NoAim | 198 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Hawkeye | 126 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | MuteD | 84 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | ⚡⚡WIZZARD⚡⚡ | 83 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #5 | Adolf loves jews | 71 | 0.17 | 1 min |





