








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 40 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 429 | 22% |
| Smokes | 458 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 454 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 573 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,205 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrr | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | Tea | Parkore Trashniak🍵 | 52% | 71 |
| #3 | hrary | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | v_x$m | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Cryogopher♞ | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cryogopher♞ | 47% | 70 |
| #6 | Groober | 46% | 61 |
| #7 | damoez | 45% | 44 |
| #8 | nuts mcgee | 45% | 42 |
| #9 | trademarkname11 | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea | Parkore Trashniak🍵 | 6 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | v_x$m | 5 | 0.0231 |
| #3 | Cryogopher♞ | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | Groober | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | nuts mcgee | 4 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tea | Parkore Trashniak🍵 | 114 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #2 | Cryogopher♞ | 71 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | Groober | 70 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | nuts mcgee | 59 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | xrr | 30 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xrr | +3.91 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | v_x$m | +3.81 | 80 | 51 |
| #3 | Tea | Parkore Trashniak🍵 | +2.22 | 41 | 47 |
| #4 | Cryogopher♞ | +1.51 | 46 | 42 |
| #5 | hrary | +0.44 | 65 | 53 |





