








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 309 matches | ||
| Faceit | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,499 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4003 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5026 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3534 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 3936 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $947,383 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatchmakingRatingCheater | 56% | 41 |
| #2 | name | 56% | 25 |
| #3 | Samasamdhi | 54% | 28 |
| #4 | -n[ii]ck | 51% | 97 |
| #5 | Bruh | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ασταθής | 44% | 54 |
| #9 | Follow Recoil user | 42% | 43 |
| #10 | sentimentalplayer | 42% | 60 |
| #11 | Nine Tailed Fox | 40% | 30 |
| #12 | Huskie | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MatchmakingRatingCheater | 15 | 0.0169 |
| #2 | sentimentalplayer | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | -n[ii]ck | 3 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Huskie | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | name | 3 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sentimentalplayer | 352 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | -n[ii]ck | 159 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | MatchmakingRatingCheater | 159 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #4 | name | 139 | 0.26 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bruh | 75 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | name | +3.26 | 74 | 65 |
| #2 | MatchmakingRatingCheater | +2.49 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Samasamdhi | +1.55 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | sentimentalplayer | +1.32 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | Follow Recoil user | +0.79 | 54 | 54 |





