








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
124 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 432 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 118 | 27% |
| Smokes | 114 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 76 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 124 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $16,703 of utility $66 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 儒雅之村 | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | 紫玉Jade | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Lao Six | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Flaaaash | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 儒雅之村 | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | 紫玉Jade | 57% | 14 |
| #3 | Lao Six | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Flaaaash | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 紫玉Jade | 2 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | 儒雅之村 | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flaaaash | 56 | 0.26 | 1 min |
| #2 | 儒雅之村 | 37 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Lao Six | 33 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | 紫玉Jade | 26 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SeaHog | +2.56 | 52 | 57 |
| #2 | Lao Six | +0.94 | 51 | 61 |
| #3 | Flaaaash | +0.46 | 63 | 63 |
| #4 | 儒雅之村 | +0.27 | 48 | 56 |
| #5 | 紫玉Jade | -1.01 | 57 | 49 |





