








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 118 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1631 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,791 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1151 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1485 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1169 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $542,094 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bumblebee | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | FouR™ | 66% | 67 |
| #3 | SPID3R | 63% | 16 |
| #4 | __argo | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Simple | happy_kira | 51% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | __argo | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Simple | happy_kira | 51% | 57 |
| #6 | L E V I | 45% | 31 |
| #7 | soap | 32% | 22 |
| #8 | zordo` | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simple | happy_kira | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | FouR™ | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | L E V I | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | SPID3R | 2 | 0.0111 |
| #5 | __argo | 1 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | L E V I | 196 | 0.31 | 4 min |
| #2 | Simple | happy_kira | 179 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | FouR™ | 163 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | soap | 105 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #5 | __argo | 47 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FouR™ | +2.09 | 81 | 57 |
| #2 | RetalB0t | +1.50 | 83 | 53 |
| #3 | L E V I | +0.70 | 76 | 74 |
| #4 | Simple | happy_kira | +0.45 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | soap | -0.81 | 76 | 67 |





