








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,351 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 601 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1302 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 697 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 751 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $631,074 of utility $213 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Harry | 45% | 31 |
| #4 | ♿︎1inky | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Vorz | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | A Black Square | 33% | 27 |
| #7 | Mara | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harry | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | A Black Square | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Vorz | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Zylus | 1 | 0.0024 |





