








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 856 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 71 matches | ||
| Wingman | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 176 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3886 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2188 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2504 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4057 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3668 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,957 of utility $162 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1605 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...





