








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 310 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 240 matches | ||
| Premier | 181 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3226 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,590 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 653 | 7% |
| Smokes | 3276 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2453 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3208 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,276,885 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dræbersneglen™ | 50% | 46 |
| #4 | LokkeDuen | 50% | 115 |
| #5 | woof | 49% | 84 |
| #6 | KP | 48% | 80 |
| #7 | Jytte | 47% | 73 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | woof | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | KP | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Dræbersneglen™ | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | LokkeDuen | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Jytte | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KP | 210 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | LokkeDuen | 111 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | VngZ | 84 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #4 | Jytte | 82 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Dræbersneglen™ | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KP | +3.01 | 71 | 79 |
| #2 | VngZ | +0.92 | 27 | 76 |
| #3 | a-lex | +0.68 | 43 | 30 |
| #4 | LokkeDuen | +0.59 | 58 | 55 |
| #5 | Dræbersneglen™ | -0.89 | 51 | 63 |





