








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1068 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 268 matches | ||
| Wingman | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




82 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3943 | 28% |
| Smokes | 2337 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4823 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 3167 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,005,383 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fetmuli | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Viiala_PMC | 61% | 57 |
| #3 | Jethro Rostedt | 60% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fetmuli | 64% | 55 |
| #2 | Viiala_PMC | 61% | 57 |
| #3 | Jethro Rostedt | 60% | 182 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jethro Rostedt | 23 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | fetmuli | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | Viiala_PMC | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jethro Rostedt | 463 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | Viiala_PMC | 242 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #3 | fetmuli | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Simo Hayha | +0.90 | 69 | 52 |
| #2 | Jethro Rostedt | +0.87 | 72 | 58 |
| #3 | fetmuli | +0.33 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | Viiala_PMC | +0.28 | 65 | 74 |





