








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 126 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 67 matches | ||
| Faceit | 47 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,839 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 758 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1639 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1311 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1131 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,443 of utility $223 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuhiZ8 :D | 62% | 13 |
| #2 | lardooo | 61% | 18 |
| #3 | Osku | 60% | 15 |
| #4 | Niggy Cheese | 59% | 17 |
| #5 | Lateks1 | 50% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jauhistus1977 | 50% | 16 |
| #8 | szamppi'30 | 47% | 66 |
| #9 | Denzel | 46% | 57 |
| #10 | ELSIZZUāP | 45% | 42 |
| #11 | HeMmO :) | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denzel | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | szamppi'30 | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | ELSIZZUāP | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Osku | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Allu | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Denzel | 187 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #2 | szamppi'30 | 161 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | HeMmO :) | 83 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Niggy Cheese | 74 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #5 | Allu | 41 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jauhistus1977 | +1.59 | 62 | 51 |
| #2 | Niggy Cheese | +1.55 | 62 | 74 |
| #3 | Osku | +1.53 | 74 | 63 |
| #4 | HeMmO :) | +1.05 | 73 | 58 |
| #5 | JuhiZ8 :D | +0.52 | 55 | 40 |





