










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 117 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,147 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 513 | 16% |
| Smokes | 458 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 1088 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $512,805 of utility $225 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 87 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I3lack Panda | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | Sneakydoodleツ™ | 77% | 22 |
| #3 | cReflexx | 71% | 14 |
| #4 | VaNquiSH | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | Kel | 63% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneakydoodleツ™ | 4 | 0.0488 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VaNquiSH | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Sneakydoodleツ™ | 30 | 0.37 | 1 min |
| #3 | kira | 21 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #4 | thEmpror | 19 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Vitamin Dee | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sneakydoodleツ™ | +5.73 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | I3lack Panda | +2.40 | 76 | 72 |
| #3 | BaTmanBranDyyツ™ | +1.84 | 82 | 52 |
| #4 | VaNquiSH | +1.09 | 75 | 52 |
| #5 | kira | -1.24 | 55 | 57 |





