








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 285 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3338 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,412 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1975 | 16% |
| Smokes | 5042 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 3909 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1486 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $182,165 of utility $17 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 676 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReBeL | 49% | 249 |
| #2 | Laksman | 48% | 73 |
| #3 | Achmed | 45% | 253 |
| #4 | shakalaka ding dong | 44% | 79 |
| #5 | NIGMA??????????? | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReBeL | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Achmed | 4 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | shakalaka ding dong | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Laksman | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | †GUARDIAN† | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReBeL | 729 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #2 | Achmed | 596 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | †GUARDIAN† | 398 | 0.24 | 10 min |
| #4 | shakalaka ding dong | 198 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #5 | BanE | 162 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ReBeL | +3.88 | 47 | 79 |
| #2 | NIGMA??????????? | +2.35 | 39 | 45 |
| #3 | Laksman | +1.84 | 16 | 53 |
| #4 | BanE | +1.75 | 42 | 77 |
| #5 | Locoz | +0.25 | 42 | 52 |





