








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 157 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,614 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 50% |
| Smokes | 616 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 89 | 6% |
| Molotovs | 99 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $202,685 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 40 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Lynnie | 56% | 77 |
| #5 | Nanohana | 54% | 57 |
| #6 | AzKei | 52% | 33 |
| #7 | I love Valorant | 50% | 20 |
| #8 | Hello its me | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nanohana | 7 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Lynnie | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Zax | 2 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | AzKei | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #5 | I love Valorant | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zax | 482 | 0.34 | 12 min |
| #2 | Nanohana | 274 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | AzKei | 126 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | Lynnie | 102 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | I love Valorant | 67 | 0.17 | 1 min |





