








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 172 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3603 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1391 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1442 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 645 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 985 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $741,045 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Michael_Weki | 64% | 22 |
| #2 | Leocoashiii | 62% | 37 |
| #3 | funnymudpee | 62% | 29 |
| #4 | JLu | 59% | 39 |
| #5 | Astor- | 57% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rikovo | 551 | 0.34 | 11 min |
| #2 | Mr Loverman | 475 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | Astor- | 266 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #4 | Leocoashiii | 232 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #5 | JLu | 174 | 0.20 | 4 min |





