








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1165 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 542 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 56 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




55 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7158 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,251 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7402 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6870 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6372 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7607 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,871,222 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SaruElAbu | 53% | 72 |
| #2 | K1LL3R3N | 51% | 110 |
| #3 | OLV3RITA | 50% | 88 |
| #4 | 尼托N1T0尼托 | 49% | 183 |
| #5 | caleñoᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 | 45% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 尼托N1T0尼托 | 33 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | caleñoᶻ 𝗓 𐰁 | 23 | 0.0188 |
| #3 | K1LL3R3N | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #4 | Gponzio | 13 | 0.0097 |
| #5 | POPPY | 9 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K1LL3R3N | 548 | 0.23 | 13 min |
| #2 | 尼托N1T0尼托 | 497 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | OLV3RITA | 452 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #4 | Gponzio | 304 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #5 | POPPY | 291 | 0.10 | 6 min |





