








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1111 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 752 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1106 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 803 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $327,845 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #14 | Beese Churger | 36% | 22 |
| #15 | Shira | 33% | 9 |
| #16 | Waguri | 33% | 55 |
| #17 | Pholski | 32% | 28 |
| #18 | Imouto Da! | 29% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waguri | 4 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Lycoris | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | saten | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Pholski | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | funni- | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Waguri | 242 | 0.21 | 8 min |
| #2 | saten | 240 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #3 | funni- | 146 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #4 | biscuit | 118 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #5 | Lycoris | 116 | 0.08 | 2 min |





