








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1419 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 344 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 154 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 49 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




122 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7595 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,060 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6580 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4161 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5220 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5099 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,695,407 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 504 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cray | 78% | 37 |
| #2 | no motion | 56% | 488 |
| #3 | YPIOIKU | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | LeMeat | 54% | 320 |
| #5 | The 6ix | 54% | 419 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | no motion | 56% | 488 |
| #3 | YPIOIKU | 55% | 65 |
| #4 | LeMeat | 54% | 320 |
| #5 | The 6ix | 54% | 419 |
| #6 | jan | 48% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no motion | 186 | 0.0200 |
| #2 | The 6ix | 53 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | LeMeat | 27 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | YPIOIKU | 6 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | cray | 2 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | no motion | 1935 | 0.21 | 41 min |
| #2 | LeMeat | 1118 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #3 | The 6ix | 778 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #4 | cray | 225 | 0.29 | 5 min |
| #5 | jan | 151 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | berd | +4.02 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | no motion | +2.07 | 87 | 58 |
| #3 | LeMeat | -0.78 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | The 6ix | -0.80 | 65 | 57 |
| #5 | cray | -2.17 | 69 | 67 |





