








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1071 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Premier | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,902 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3850 | 23% |
| Smokes | 5066 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 4632 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3354 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,748,128 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1515 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Tovi | 47% | 183 |
| #11 | Kwuaks | 39% | 36 |
| #12 | AllCn | 36% | 61 |
| #13 | Wheels | 33% | 40 |
| #14 | DaDaniel | 26% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esky | 45 | 0.0108 |
| #2 | Tovi | 28 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | Kwuaks | 22 | 0.0323 |
| #4 | LeVr | 10 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | Mister Fumble | 10 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Esky | 455 | 0.11 | 9 min |
| #2 | Mister Fumble | 280 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | Tovi | 267 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #4 | aneiry | 236 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #5 | LeVr | 216 | 0.10 | 6 min |





